As I sit here trying to make order to my thoughts in order to write a post about writing, my book progress, and any progress I can say I have made as a person, I can only say my brain feels scrambled. And I like my eggs over easy.
In only the past few days–not weeks or months–our country has confiscated Russian/Venezuelan oil tankers, bombed Venezuela and captured their president and his wife, killing over 100 individuals; ICE just shot a woman (the same age as my daughter) dead in Minneapolis; the administration has frozen childcare and family assistance federal funding from California, Colorado, Minnesota, Illinois and New York, in a move they claim is NOT retaliatory; The administration is now threatening to take over Greenland, by force if necessary, and/or Mexico. And they have bombed ISIS.
Perhaps the only thing that hasn’t squeezed itself into the news is the release of all the Epstein files–although survivors and advocates of releasing all the fines are trying to grab attention. It’s hard when the world as we knew it is in total disarray.
I have been trying to focus on my writing work, but I gotta tell you, it’s hard. I know not all people believe democracy is at risk–Some say this chaos won’t last forever–it’s only three more years–but to me, as an elderly citizen(so defined by the Covid era) I will likely never see the world as it was before. I will probably never live to the point where we can trust what the news tells us as our world is influenced by 20 year old social influencers. I will probably never recover the trust of having a thought provoking, invigorating political discussion that ends with tipping back cold beers at the end of the debate. I have already taken the position NOT to talk politics at all, rather than ignite an argument. And yet I can’t help but talk about what is happening in the world around me.
It gets very personal. My son took a shift in their daycare parking lot, ready to notify parents if ICE agents come to their daycare. My Sunday morning writing cohort teaches school and they have contingency plans if agents come to their school, somewhat as a result of ICE agents waiting at Roosevelt High School, pepper spraying kids and adults who were picking up their children, capturing students and taking them away. Don’t tell me these students are criminals and rapists. It would be easier to believe the ICE agents are criminals and rapists.
I have lost friends and family to this divisiveness. And it’s not like I “allowed” it to happen. Our news media inundates us with sides. The right side and the wrong side. There’s no middle ground. Even the killing of Nicole Good has become divisive. What should have been a straightforward investigation of an enforcement agent (not a policeman) has become an “us vs them” social media blitz. People on both sides, all the way up to the President and VP are making statements of innocence or guilt based on videos. Thank god for phones and videos or like George Floyd, ICE could have tried to sweep this under the carpet. Unlike George Floyd, people in the highest levels of government–the absolute highest–are making claims without due process.
I have been frozen-paralyzed-in the past few days given all that is going on. This is on top of personal situations close to me that are enough to make my head explode. As my daughter said, “You have the time to do something, so do it. Don’t stay paralyzed…”
And she is right. I have personal goals to achieve in my writing life, but what good is that if our fundamental freedoms in America are gone? What can I do to ensure we are not ruled by federal agents willing to kill bystanders? For all those state’s rights advocates, of whom my late husband was, state’s rights are gone if the federal government’s ICE agents can come in and arrest/detain/kidnap anyone they want, citizen or non, white or brown or black.
There are no rights except for the ruling elites’ power. There are no rights except for the whim of a President who pardons a drug dictator, yet invades a country and captures a drug dictator and his wife.
I am only one voice, but I have what the President has. He and I don’t have that long to live. We don’t have to follow any rules, because we will be dead before we have to face the consequences of our actions.
ELAINE KOYAMA WRITES 
Thanks for writing this, Elaine. It’s hard to say that it’s timely in a whirlwind world where anything that happened an hour ago is already way out of date, but what you’ve given words to needs to be said.
One thing that’s bugging me these days as I try to write is the pesky thought that I need to shift my focus and write about these earth-shaking current events. It seems trivial to be writing about my own little fictional world and its quotidian problems when all hell is breaking loose around me.
I’ve always thought that what’s really important in life is what goes on in our hearts and how that’s played out every day. But today I feel like that’s woefully inadequate.
I guess the main thing to do is simply keep writing. Wherever that takes us.
BTW: nice picture and great poster!
–Greg
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Dear friend, fellow Minnesotan, and skier,
Thank you for your comments. I agree, but I know you ARE doing things that support democracy. I see your photo with the very appropriate protest sign. We have been protesting in Tucson throughout the past year, first at the Tesla dealership (near our home) then for the No Kings Day(s). More recently we joined the Saturday morning protests in front of the office of our Republican Congressman Juan Ciscomani. Yesterday we were there, AND at an even larger protest at another location in Tucson. Nevertheless, I am, like you, simply sad, and almost overwhelmed by the seemingly endless bad news and real harm generated by the Trump administration and its minions. I do find emotional support at these protests, and that is one of the best features of standing with our fellow patriots holding signs in support of democracy. I also am heartened by the number of retired people I’ve spoken with who understand how dangerous our current political situation is. Our age group is very well represented at the protests.
We think of you often and share your concerns. We also have two wonderful grandchildren that need us to restore democracy in our country. Our hearts ache for what is happening in Minnesota and around the country. Cheryll grew up not far from the tragedy on Portland Avenue, and I lived for 7 years just a mile and a half north of that location. Our work as private inspectors connected with wonderful people throughout the Twin Cities. We were involved in DFL politics from 1972 until we moved to Colorado in late 2019. I am so pleased with the strength the Minnesota leaders are showing in support of immigrants, children, and the rule of law. Colorado has equally strong leaders. Our current leaders in Arizona are also good, particularly most of those in Tucson, but the political climate here is still struggling with many people who hold on to old ideas of “us vs. them” compared to Minnesota or Colorado. One good feature of Arizona is that the large Hispanic community is so well established and majority US citizens, that it is difficult for ICE and border patrol to identify immigrants by skin color. Half the community has roots from generations here, including when this land was Mexico. I’m sure you see this in Santa Fe as well. The Border Patrol is still a nuisance in some ways, but so far, we have not had an invasion of ICE agents in Tucson. Many groups here have put out a number to call to report ICE activity, and many ICE alert whistles have been distributed.
I hope to be skiing in Northern Arizona again this winter. I will miss seeing you on the slopes, but hope we can connect again sometime this year. We are going to the Wings Over Willcox (SE Arizona) Sandhill Crane bird watching events starting on Thursday. That should be a chance to take some great photos, and get our minds off the current crises.
Thinking about the Olympics and ski racers, did you know Kaylin Richardson when you worked at Hyland Hills or Skijammers? I thought of her last night. She was in one of the Warren Miller movies about ten years ago. (Also, in a 2020 film that I’ve not seen.) Her father also worked at the Eden Prairie Costco for a while. Anyway, the US women’s ski team certainly looks great for the Olympics in Milan. Also, did you know a ski instructor by the name of Lynn Forrester? She was our neighbor for about ten years when she was married to Oli Hage. She passed away after he died and she had moved to Boulder, CO.
We wish you the best for the coming year and thank you again for your emails. As Joyce White Vance says at the end of her posts, “We are all in this together.”
Roger Hankey mobile # 970-393-6604 Home inspector since 1975, specializing in moisture investigations, ice dams, Cold Climate housing, Level II infrared thermographer, energy efficiency investigator
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Well written, my friend! Love your protest poster! Check out my fb post of Minnesota’s sliding down a hill to get to the protest! Resilience
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Elaine, you say it and write it so well! I totally agree with you!
Susan Kerrick-Degnan
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thank you Elaine. I feel exactly the same. And especially that we who remember when equality and justice were the goals-even if not achieved -need to step up. Now it’s blatantly power to the powerful rather than power to the people. And we need to take it back. I see questions online about why it’s women of a certain age, especially white women, who are out protesting. Maybe it’s because we remember that change is frequently achieved in the street. I know I don’t do enough but I refuse to be silent. We can’t let stupidity win. I am appalled at the continued support for these outrageous acts especially from some of the neighbors in my community. I feel it is in part due to a perversion of the information stream-and ignorance of history. For a long time I have tried to avoid discussions that I thought were unlikely to change peoples minds, but now I feel they at least need to hear another source of information. Aargh! Hang in there
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I love reading your thoughts, and like you, I’m deeply troubled about what’s happening to our nation. Unfortunately, perhaps too many of our fellow citizens feel a certain detachment from current events. Maybe we’re becoming desensitized to the immoral ca[abilities of this administration
It is disheartening as you wrote to hear no clarion call to arms by the institutions we rely on too safeguard the principles of our democracy More disheartening still to witness the supp[ort that Trump still has among those who seem to have forgotten the liberators of Europe, the steadfast at Little Roundtop and the outnumbered defenders of Bunker Hill.
Clearly, any recognition of the countless men and women who protested, marched and bled for human rights and dignity in every corner of America since there was an America, is ignored or reviled. And yet, those people, our mothers and fathers, our grandmothers and grandfathers did live and did fight, and will never be erased from our memory and the national consciousness.
Thanks, Elaine, for being a voice for all of us. And, for me personally, a reminder that the best of who we are is still alive.
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